tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882241647734848746.post2501679628653664543..comments2023-06-20T07:47:24.386-05:00Comments on The Spiced Tea Party: Sex and Power - a few speculationsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882241647734848746.post-14519396566812496552007-04-09T13:26:00.000-05:002007-04-09T13:26:00.000-05:00I've always wondered about the appeal of the shelt...I've always wondered about the appeal of the sheltered Regency miss as a heroine. I don't find the idea of the blank slate attractive--I'd rather read about someone who's had, if not physical experience, certainly a range of emotional experience, and who has done some growing-up. <BR/>Doesn't it come back to the mantitty? (I'm finding everything does. I need help). It's another borrowed male fantasy (this time a heterosexual one), where an experienced older man breaks in a young innocent. It smacks of inequality, of course, but if you give her some sort of an edge--brains and perception--that levels the playing field. God forbid the seduced should laugh at the seducer.JRMullanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09385318200404516357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882241647734848746.post-62922228688062050732007-04-06T09:31:00.000-05:002007-04-06T09:31:00.000-05:00Really? It’s a term I’ve seen bandied about since ...Really? It’s a term I’ve seen bandied about since I was in college in the early 90s.<BR/><BR/>It's short for having the "upper-hand". The person in the relationship who has "hand" is the one in charge, and of course when you're dealing with issues of attraction, dating and sex, who has "hand" can shift suddenly and unexpectedly.Kalen Hugheshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14216420943081679978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882241647734848746.post-47767789292038872542007-04-05T19:24:00.000-05:002007-04-05T19:24:00.000-05:00Yes "hand" is a mystery to me too... but otherwise...Yes "hand" is a mystery to me too... but otherwise I agree with Kalen -- its the power struggles that are fascinating... I'm working on a real doozy right now.Celia May Harthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00124733975264957145noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882241647734848746.post-11764856868143580302007-04-05T17:54:00.000-05:002007-04-05T17:54:00.000-05:00Kalen, "hand" is not a term being bandied about La...Kalen, "hand" is not a term being bandied about Lafayette, so I'm clueless. Clue me in?<BR/><BR/>"Parlance" has been forever ruined for me by the Coen brothers The Big Lebowski. Every time I see it I hear Julianne Moore as Maude Lebowski speaking in her crisp prep school accent, "...to use the parlance of our times." Cracks me up. I swear there's a line in that movie for every occasion!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882241647734848746.post-79414509389287890152007-04-05T17:36:00.000-05:002007-04-05T17:36:00.000-05:00Wow. Nicely put. And timely too. You've added dept...Wow. Nicely put. And timely too. You've added depth to something I'm currently struggling with.<BR/><BR/>Mostly I've abdicated from society's power games by being an artsy outsider, jealously clutching my illusions of independence to my breast. But it took until middle age to realize that there is no opting out. Even folks who are off the grid are in the system.<BR/><BR/>So what do I do? I get a job in the financial industry. :-) Three years later I'm now financially responsible for myself on the planet, which is good. But I'm no closer to being powerful by society's gauge, because while I'm no longer abdicating, I am only observing, not playing.<BR/><BR/>Now, you'd think a system where a person's net worth determines their consequence would be logical,but I'm more convinced than ever that the system is completely nucking futs.<BR/><BR/>Yesterday I read an interview with a clever money guru who has upped his visibility by combining "neurobiological behavior" with investing and financial advising. Now I could have told him that fear and greed are our culture's two main motivaters. But here he is telling advisers how to present information, which brain lobe to target, so as to trigger those motivaters. Apparently pie charts don't do it.<BR/><BR/>Evil, I tell ya! To make a long story less painful, I came to the conclusion that my only recourse is to lampoon this. It's going in the next mainstream I've been cooking on the back burner for a while now.<BR/><BR/>Bwa-ha-ha-ha...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882241647734848746.post-89682031126808272532007-04-05T12:24:00.000-05:002007-04-05T12:24:00.000-05:00For me, bringing brought up in that infinitely com...For me, bringing brought up in that infinitely complicated finely nuanced English class system, I find the smallest hint of behaving badly absolutely fascinating. The British are such snobs that the idea that all this naughty erotic stuff happens behind the closed net curtains and high moral values absolutely inspires me to write about it.Kate Pearcehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04079485861541059016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882241647734848746.post-18644868390778069102007-04-05T10:03:00.000-05:002007-04-05T10:03:00.000-05:00Tee-Hee, I'm on the blog. *grin* I'm very interest...Tee-Hee, I'm on the blog. *grin* <BR/><BR/>I'm very interested in the inner workings of the power struggles that people go though as part of courtship. I find it fascinating to see who has "hand", to put in modern parlance. How the power shifts, and why, can be amazingly provocative, and need not be limited to sex. Nearly all human interactions are, IMO, about power. Power over others. Power over oneself. The power to decide. I think one of the reasons so many people are describing my writing as “erotic” is that I pay special attention to “who has hand” during my characters’ conversations and during sex.Kalen Hugheshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14216420943081679978noreply@blogger.com