I write about a lot of things: being tied up, being spanked, threesomes, foursomes homo erotic action, etc etc. In my fiction I'm quite happy to explore anything.
But I always get a shock when I read other people's blogs and realize that people actually do all that stuff and enjoy it . I've never experienced a single slap on my bum since I was a kid and that's okay with me. I have absolutely no desire to experience the stuff I put my characters through.
Does that make what I write less authentic because I haven't done it? I don't think so. I've never had any complaints, in fact, just the opposite. Most readers assume I know all about it and want to share their experiences with me too. Not that this is a problem because being a writer I'm obviously a complete and shameless voyeur.
Last year I wrote a story for my first foray into erotica with Cleis Press. It's called Sunday Service and it's in the L is for Leather anthology. it was such fun to write something completely kinky with no worries about making the ending happy. But I still made it all up and I have a suspicion that some of the other authors in that anthology didn't and that is amazing.
So I wonder, can readers tell whether you've done the deeds you write about?